Do This When You Feel Like You’re Not Making Progress in Life
This is How You Defeat the Quarter-life Crisis
I have been at a stage in life where I felt like nothing was going my way and instead things seemed to be getting worse. This was accompanied by feeling like a failure, but that had more to do with frustration and apathy than with anything else. Compared to my friends, I felt so menial and unaccomplished. They say a one-eyed man is king in the country of the blind. But I had lost my one eye, while it seemed like everyone else around me was suddenly growing theirs.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I thought I had out-grown the childishness of feeling jealous of the others’ ‘toys’, until I no longer had any toys of my own to play with. It’s like breaking a leg. The saddest thing about it is watching everyone else running around and having fun while you’re constrained in one place.
Feelings like this begin slowly and before you know it, you’re irritant to those around you, and even though you feel it you still deny it when those close to you think you’re depressed. You might even be tempted to resign to a life of mere averageness. But If you know better, life is not meant to be just average. Life is meant to be above average, and that’s just the bare minimum. But does life always give you what you want? Heck no! Perhaps this is just a test then?
It helps to know that at one point or other, everyone goes through this stage in life. And those that go through it successfully might say that it opened their mental eyes regarding certain important things in life. But this word of encouragement is not enough to diffuse your existing problems.
This additional piece of advice that might be of help.
Go Internal
Practice self-awareness. Pay more attention to your thoughts and feelings. Write them down, if possible, for auditing purposes. This helps you identify and create a database of interests as well as eliminate the things that drain your energy. Once you identify your consistent interests you can then give them focused attention and eliminate any room for mediocre performance.
When you stop focusing on the shitty bits of your life and focus on the areas where you are actually kicking butt, the load of feeling unaccomplished becomes lighter.
If things seem to not be working out, remember to be self-compassionate. Be your own cheer leader.
Put In the Work
The point is not to feel like you’re making progress, but to actually make progress. Avoid action-faking and put in the required work.
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” — Bill Gates
In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear overstates the act of doing something small but consistently over along period of time. The compounding that results can can be very significant.
But remember to build systems not goals. Working out in its self is not an end in itself, it’s a system supposed to help you to get and stay in better shape. Systems inspire habits, and consistency. Apply this breakdown to every area of your life where you need improvement.
Get Organized
While in a slump most of us don’t have energy to take care of anything. Mostly everything is a mess, from our finances, health, relationships, and even our work. Getting organized goes along way to put you back on track.
Create lists; lists help you to tackle activities systematically, and to give you a sense of accomplishment once you have ticked off the items on your list. Organizing your calendar helps you keep track of the important events or tasks that will need your attention in the future. Seek out a mentor or an accountability partner if you can’t do it on your own.
Avoid Loneliness
Don’t allow loneliness to creep into your life, if you can help it. Loneliness is what fuels depression. If all your close friends are busy with their lives and can’t find time to spend with you, go out to social events and try to talk to someone. You maybe surprised to find that strangers usually give the most helpful advice.
This may be hard because you may be introverted, but try to push yourself to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Inside of being inside your head all the time, try to get a second voice inside your head and see what happens.
Re-invent Yourself
Identify parts of your life that you don’t like or are no longer serving you and either cut them off or change them. This maybe your job, your relationships, and your bad choices and habits. Take time to think about your core values and the kind of person you want to become and set events in motion to create a new you.
If you’re stuck in the wrong job, it maybe time to come to terms with the fact that your degree of job doesn’t define you, and that you can always have an alternative source of income that may not pay you so much but mays you happy. It may be time to let go of your loser friends and create new friendships with people whose discipline and way of life you admire. Get a nice hair cut, dress for success, begin exercising, and become the best version of yourself.
Make Intentional Decisions
All the steps above require you to be intentional about what you want in your life. It’s time to stop going back and forth on the important issues in your head and decide once and for all what needs to be done and do it.
You only need to know the direction, not the destination. The direction is enough for you to make the next choice.
This means that you can’t allow fear and anxiety to get in the way of what needs to be done. And if they do, push ahead regardless. See the possibilities, not fears.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude unlocks other virtues. Gratitude happens when you first acknowledge your current situation, and identify points that are still working in your favour. It may be as simple as having a roof over your head. The point of identifying your strong points is to build up on them. You’re consoling yourself that you’re not in the worst possible state and this gives you the motivation to push yourself further towards where you want to be.
Seek out positivity in your life. Do not allow bad energy and negative vibes in your space.
Final Thoughts
As you work on yourself and seek to improve your the quality of your life, it’s important to celebrate the success of those around you. Until it’s your turn, cheer and clap for others and remember that the universe is conspiring to help you achieve what you want.
Also, here’s a nice sound track 😊
