Lessons at 27 Years Old
I made mistakes and learnt some lessons.
This year is currently holding first place for the worst year of my adult life. However, it goes without saying that this is the year I have experienced the most emotional growth and maturity. Physically, nothing much has changed.
They say it is through adversity that we learn the most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny. In the worst of pain, while stumbling around trying to find my way in life, I have opened my heart and mind, and so far, learned these things;
# Plato said there are two things a person should never be angry at what they can help and what they cannot. Because of anger, I have said and done shameful and regrettable things. I have hurt myself and others. Thankfully I got on track not too late to learn to control my anger, and get rid of it entirely if possible.
#Time is of the essence. Don’t allow anyone to waste your time. Don’t waste people’s time.
#I’m overwhelmed by my sense of accomplishment this year, be that as it may, I can’t name any significant material accomplishment. My accomplishments have been mostly intangible.
#Mark Twain said that the man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read. I have so far read 32 books this year, and am proud of myself.
#In determining my heuristics for life I have made a lot of bad decisions, but I have not wasted a misfortune. I’ve tried to learn from them. All these bad decisions have, in some way, led me in the right direction.
#I have discovered quite later in life that money is better spent on experiences. I don’t feel happy about all the money I have spent to pay my rent, but I vividly remember the few fun experiences I have enjoyed this year. I plan to get more experiences in my life.
#The mantra for my 26th year has been to focus on what I can control. I have done my best to not be the one that has let the team down. Even when some things have failed, I am content in knowing that I have given them my best effort.
#If you’re unhappy about a situation, or with people, do something about it. Credit to Ryan Holiday for reminding me of this. This yearly reflection is another thing I have learnt from him.
#It’s wise to have money saved for emergencies. I have learnt this the hard way, and I still have more to learn. Whatever I do, I will try to be more financially literate - especially my through actions.
#I have been in a job that sucks and for a long time I lacked the courage to leave. It was a painful experience. I have since learned that life can still happen without a job, and that a peace of mind is better than a full bank account.
#I have hurt people’s feelings by being direct with what I want, but most times I have gotten what I have wanted by simply asking for it. I find that it saves a lot of time, and gets things done.
#More than before I have been overwhelmed with the fear of missing out (FOMO). It’s a strange feeling when you feel there isn’t a lot you have done/experienced in life and yet you’re growing older by the day. But then some experiences are worth missing out on. I am reminded of Seneca’s note on dying every day. I’ll die one day, so how am I living my life? This reminds me to make choices that matter.
“You could be good today, but instead you choose tomorrow.” — Marcus Aurelius
#Marcus Aurelius advises, “Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness — all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil…”
People have disappointed me, and I know that this is the nature of people, but it’s still painful. I guess I have to accept and live with that.
#I have spent most of this year looking for a job. I have listened to a lot of advice about jobs but what has been extremely helpful is to go for that job that will teach you the most, not pay you the most.
#I recently read on the internet that we spend about 30% of our lives sleeping. If this is so, then I might want to spend the remainder of that percentage getting the best quality sleep I possibly can.
#I began writing on medium late last year. I have been part of the writing community ship30for30. It has been a transformational experience. My thinking — and therefore my decision-making has become better, as well as my writing. I have not been so consistent, but I find it fun that I can write whenever I feel like it.
#This is the year I have gotten more active on Twitter. I have learnt so much from twitter. It’s the best school (if you know what you want to learn), but you can also explore other curiosities. You’ll find memes on there too.
#Love sucks sometimes. But I have not lost faith in true love.
#There’s this article I read a few months back. It lays some most important details about spending one’s limited time on earth in the best way possible.
#나는 한국어를 배웠다. This is hangul. I’m still learning to construct sentences but it’s been fun learning another language.
#I have never in my life enjoyed the game of chess better than I currently do right now. Maybe because it’s a game of endless possibilities, where you choose your own fate. That’s a quotable quote attributed to me.
#Love people, use things. All the time.
#Happiness is found within. I used to tie my happiness on expectations, money, and material things. Now I find happiness in doing things most people would consider boring.
#The willingness to say “I don’t know” is what helps you learn. See https://twitter.com/waitbutwhy/status/1214283303857065984?s=20
#Instead of temporarily numbing the pain, take the time and effort to heal your emotional wounds. Confronting the source of pain is hard, but it’s worth it when you final heal.
#Most people, my self inclusive, don’t know how intrusive and destructive social media can be. If we knew the fullest extent of how social media is ruining people’s lives, we would use it much less.
#James Clear has this piece about the power of tiny gains that has helped me so much this year. I have not journaled every day this past year, but I have had runs of 60 days of consistent journaling. It now feels a part of me. I have used the same mentality with the Tweet100 challenge.
So, happy birthday to me! I believe I am growing wiser with each year. I hope that by reading you have found one or more things that you’ll find helpful.
To life 🥂
